Ode De Toilet

I am stunned.  Horrified, mystified, proud, and simply stunned.

For the second time this week, Mason (who was playing quietly in his room) decided to play with his toys in the toilet.  More surprising (because it’s becoming less of a surprise every day) than my 2 year old’s obsessive penchant for playing in the potty, is Kaleb’s reaction.

Kaleb is a strict, insane rule-enforcer (however, apparently because he’s in charge of making sure everyone else follows the rules, he is immune to them).  For years we have been trying to make him understand that it isn’t his job to enforce the rules – it’s ours.  For years he’s been refusing to accept this.  As a result, every rule my crazy, curious 2 year old breaks creates complete chaos (check out my alliteration).  Mason so much as tapping a house in the Christmas village with a finger results in screaming, throwing, pushing, pulling, insane meltdowns.

So, For Kaleb to find Mason in their bathroom, splish-splashing around in the toilet, you would expect a catastrophe.  The last thing I expected was for him to actually tell me that Mason is doing something wrong without physically reacting himself.  But that’s what happened.  Kaleb rounded the corner to go to the bathroom, and found Mason elbow deep in potty water.  I hear a shriek.  A squeak.  A “MASON!”.  I’m already on my feet heading that way, thinking Mason broke into Kaleb’s room again and has demolished the train tracks.  Just as I hit the corner Kaleb comes running around it and starts yelling:

“Mommy!  Mason is putting all of his toys in the other potty!  He can’t play with toys in the potty!  Now I can’t go potty!  You have to get Daddy’s tool and fix it!  Fix it Mommy!”

Now, if Mason and my entire bathroom weren’t covered in toilet water, when he had me thinking he was still playing with his blocks, I would have laughed my ass off.  But, as it was, Mason and the entire bathroom were covered in toilet water… again.  Take the toys out of the toilet, wipe everything down with a towel, wipe everything down with clorox wipes, strip, dry, and redress Mason… Kaleb is able to pee, Mason is not allowed to leave my sight, and now I have to mop on “I refuse to do housework on weekends” Sunday.

Grrrr kid.  Just freaking Grrrr.