This Is Halloween…

This is my favorite time of the year.  That could have something to do with the fact that I get to wear my favorite clothes without being called crazy (hellloooo hoodies, super soft pajama pants and fuzzy socks!).  It could be the leaves changing and falling.  Or probably not that since I’m in the south.  It could have something to do with the fact that I get to eat all of my favorite foods (okay, really, it’s more like ‘I get to see how much crap I can make with pumpkins and apples, and how fast I can eat it’).  But the most likely reason of all only needs one word:

HALLOWEEN.

The-Nightmare-Before-Christmas

My favorite holiday – and I’m not just saying that until Christmas time comes around (for real – why has Target already restocked half of the Halloween shelves with Christmas wreaths???), with all the all sparkly “joy to the world” rears it’s head.  It’s my absolute, 100% favorite holiday, and it always has been.  Always.  At three years old, the only two things I wanted to be when I grew up were a lawyer (umm that should speak for itself) and Lydia from Beetlejuice.  I had a cat named Krueger before I was in kindergarten. When I was nine I read Cujo (and my first nightmare.  I also spent a week terrified of all three of my dogs.) and the Tommyknockers – which is still my favorite Steven King book to this day.  Subsequently, my kids love Halloween.  Kaleb sings “This is Halloween” and Mason sings “Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween.” in the form of the Halloweentown song.  It never fails to make me laugh.

Every year it takes all of my self control not to start decorating for Halloween on the first day of September.  This year, I lost that battle – kinda.  I only decorated the inside of the house.  I didn’t put up the outside stuff until October 1st.  Usually, October is crammed for us.  I seriously start researching nearby events, pumpkin patches, festivals, carnivals, and anything that has the words “caramel apple” or “pumpkin” in August.  By the time October comes around I’ve generally got a calendar so full of Halloween events it’s enough to make you dizzy.

To some extent I did that this year – I wrote everything down, but it just didn’t actually happen.  Part of the reason is the kids themselves – we can’t very well take Kaleb to a pumpkin festival when he’s running a 102 degree fever.  Nor can we take Mason to an event out of town when he has literally done nothing but scream for the past 12 hours.  But mostly it’s my own fault.  I just can’t get into it this year – and that is killing me.  I’ve been playing Halloween music basically around the clock (trust me, Daddy is ready to throw out every device in this house that has the capability of playing music).  I’ve decorated the house – though I can’t keep it clean for even five bloody minutes, so I can’t really enjoy it.

For some reason this year just doesn’t feel like Halloween.  I bought a costume – but it was at Daddy’s insistence.  I’ve made pumpkin cupcakes – but I still haven’t made the frosting for them (actually, they taste like muffins anyway so I might not make any frosting and just eat them as they are).  The boys and I have watched what I deem “Halloween movies” constantly.  I do have to say though – the first time I put on The Nightmare Before Christmas (which I still know every single word to) Kaleb said “Mommy!  I know this movie!”  I’m pretty sure I responded just as enthusiastically.  Then he followed it up with “But, we watched this last year.”

Uh, yup.  We sure did.  And we’re going to watch it this year, and next year, and the year after that, and the year after that… you get the point.

It’s one of my favorite things in the world.  Give me a pumpkin spice latte, some apples and caramel dip, a soft fuzzy blanket, and I’m one happy cat.  Normally.  This year?  I haven’t sat through the whole movie one single time.  I haven’t restocked our candy corn supply.  I never put the tombstones back after our lawn was mowed.  I don’t get it.  Am I the only one feeling disconnected from the season this year?  I’m excited about little things as they happen (like the PSL I’m drinking right now!), but I can’t find any real enthusiasm for the bigger things.

We haven’t even gone to the pumpkin patch yet!  I know, Mom Fail, but we’re going after school today and we will carve tomorrow night.  At least our pumpkins won’t be rotting by Halloween night – for the first time ever.

It just hasn’t clicked.  The weather has FINALLY cooled off enough that I can open up the doors and windows (note:  I will be complaining about it being cold in the very near future), so it feels like fall.  The decorations are out in full force, so it looks like fall.  The pumpkin flavored everything has arrived, so it tastes like fall – so what the hell is wrong with me this year?  Everything is as it should be, except for me.  The only Halloween-ish event we’ve done was Kaleb’s school carnival Saturday (I won hottest chili in the cook-off btw!  Yay!).  That and Kaleb’s costume are the only two things I’ve really been pumped about this season (he’s FINALLY decided he likes a superhero and is going as Spiderman.).

This is honestly driving me kind of nuts.  I know there’s always next year, and bla bla bla.  But that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve never been “Halloween’d-out” before, and I don’t like it.  I feel like a total traitor for wanting to yank down all the halloween stuff and start working on the Christmas lights.

Ugh.

I’m just as bad as Target.

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