Never Know…

It figures.

The one day I could actually sleep in, my insane wild-child-paranoia won’t let me.

Pre-children, my Saturday nights consisted of waiting tables followed by varying levels of intoxication at my favorite bar.  If someone had come up to me and told me that seven years later I’d be spending my saturday night studying I probably would have laughed.  But, that’s exactly what I did.  From the minute I put the kids to bed, until Mason finally fell asleep at midnight, I studied.  I drank two glasses of cheap boxed wine and I studied for Kaleb’s upcoming IEP harder than I’ve ever had to study for any test in my life.

Which is relatively sad, because I had no idea how much I didn’t know until I talked to the special education lawyer.  It leaves me to wonder how many parents are walking into these meetings completely uninformed.  Why isn’t there more information out there?  Why isn’t the information that is out there more easily accessible, and easier to understand?  Isn’t the point of sending our children to school to teach them, and help them become intelligent, productive members of society?  Shouldn’t the parents and the school systems be working together?

The answer is yes.  We should all be working together to help our children.  But we’re not.  We’re working against each other.  Fighting each other in silent battles of will and power instead of pulling our resources to do everything we can to build our children up.  Instead of an open system of information and communication we are closing doors and blocking each other out.  This person only tells you this much.  That person only tells you that much.  And then you go to a meeting missing vital information you have every right to know, get blindsided and end up walking away more confused and upset than you were walking in.


Why has nobody changed this?  I don’t know, but I do know that I’ve had enough.  As soon as I get this all straightened out I will be sorting through every bit of information I can get my hands on.  I will then be adding an IEP section to the Monster Marchers website.  I cannot stand the idea that there are more parents out there like me.  Who want nothing more than to do everything they can for their children, but don’t know where the information is or how to use it once they find it.  Something needs to change, and I have every intention of doing my part to change it.

Moving on from my little sidebar…

I was up half the night studying for Kaleb’s IEP.  Kaleb got up to get in bed with me at midnight, and I took him back to his room.  Then I woke up at 5:30 as he crawled into bed with me again.  Of course, I fell asleep with a notebook in the bed, and he sat there next to me flipping through the pages until I gave him the option of being quiet or going back to his room.  It was not wake up time!  After about fifteen minutes he got up and headed back to his room.  Or so I thought.  Ten minutes later I heard him in the living room.  And I would swear on my life I could hear him flipping the pages of a notebook.

All I could think was Oh CRAP! The only notebook that he would have easy access to was the one on my desk.  The one with pages of important information scrawled on them.  One I really needed.  And there went the idea of sleep.  I practically flew out of bed in a panic to get to him before he scribbled all over my notebook, only to be stopped short by what I saw.  Kaleb was sitting on the living room floor.  Playing.  With blocks and Bucky.  Blocks.

I am so insanely paranoid these days, I took the sound of building blocks for notebook paper being flipped and destroyed.  He looked up at me and smiled that sweet little smile and said “I’m playing nice mommy.  See?  I’m playing blocks and Bucky too!”  Yes buddy.  You certainly are.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, Mommy is going to go kick herself all the way to the coffee maker.


2 thoughts on “Never Know…

  1. Best Mom ever! Kaleb is so blessed to have such a dedicated advocate in his corner!

    Ps- Didn’t forget about you, Tee (my friend) is on vacay until the first week of February and told me she would call me when she got back into town. Can’t wait to hear how IEP goes! Good Luck!


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